Category Archives: Weekly Update

To Blog Or Not To Blog

Standard
To Blog Or Not To Blog

Do you blog about weight loss? Even when you’re not losing?

What about when you’re not trying?

For weeks now, maybe months, my attitude can best be described as that of a petulant child who refuses to eat, or sleep, or do anything else that will make them feel better.

Except that all I want to do is sleep. And eat.

One of the things I’ve been asking myself  is whether it makes sense to keep blogging. Is it helping me? I feel like a fraud just writing about it and not actually doing it. So do I stay, or do I go? Am I a cheat, or am I a quitter?

Today, when I finally had some time to sit down and think about it (day off! kids in daycare! woohoo!), it occurred to me that I’m not the only one with these questions. Back in October, Deb (@DietSchmiet) wrote about her struggles, and that “blogging and obsessing about it has done nothing to ease my guilt or angst.”

Nope, me neither. But Deb is still blogging.

I also remembered a post from Skinny Emmie. Emily was asked on her Facebook page why she continues to blog if she’s not losing weight. Her response: I do it for me.

Well, that’s why I started blogging in the first place. And I still do it for me.

Don’t get me wrong: it thrills me to the tips of my madly-typing fingers when I hear that I’ve helped someone – but I guess you could say that that’s still for me.

So please, take it as read that I am not losing right now. My motivation is flagging, I’m bingeing until I feel ill. But if you don’t mind, I am going to keep writing. And when I manage to turn things around, believe me, you’ll be the first to know.

The bottom line (because I’m not a cheat. Or a quitter):

Advertisements

The Bottom Line: Time To “Me-Proof”

Standard
The Bottom Line: Time To “Me-Proof”

If you’re a parent, you’ve probably been through the exercise of kid-proofing your house, and in particular your kitchen. Hot things, sharp things, nasty chemicals – all dangerous in little hands.

I think I’ve pretty much mastered the hot things. I can even handle the sharp things without incident – most of the time. Where I get into trouble is the sweet things. The chocolatey things. The peanuty things. The bag on the right? Its empty.

And now that bakesales have been banned in the schools, I can’t even blame it on some kind of altruistic baking bonanza.

The past week or so has been characterized by frustration, exhaustion, shame, and self-loathing. Most week-days I’ve been pegged: home time is dominated by kids. The work day gets trimmed at either end by family commitments so I can’t even justify a lunch hour workout. The pile of food wrappers in my waste bin grows, and I cringe as I imagine the thoughts of my co-workers, “no wonder she’s so fat.”

So I’m still on that downward spiral, misery-begets-bingeing-begets… well, you get the picture. But there’s one positive thing I can cling to: I’m still here. I’m still trying. I have some ideas I’m going to try this week, to me-proof the places where I spend the most time on destructive eating. So stay tuned :).

The bottom line:

The Bottom Line: Mom Was Right

Standard
The Bottom Line: Mom Was Right

How many times did your mother tell you that if you were actually hungry, you’d eat your over-cooked broccoli, instead of ‘saving room’ for chocolate cake?

Well, as much as it pains me to admit it, I have turned into my mother. I can’t count the number of times today that I have wanted to hit the snack machine, or the pile of hallowe’en candy that some foul temptress kind soul left by the water cooler. (I’m there to fill my water bottle!! How is that fair??)

BUT, I have a package of lentil soup in the fridge. It’s even a really yummy lentil soup. (Not as yummy as this lentil soup, but still pretty darn tasty). So instead of caving to the cravings I have decided that, until I eat that soup, no snacking. And I don’t really want the soup right now, so clearly I’m not hungry enough.

What happens after the soup is gone? I don’t know. There’s an awful lot of soup.

I know it’s going to take a lot more than just skipping a chocolate bar to get me anywhere, but this is a huge improvement over recent behaviour. Why the change in attitude? Well, it can hardly be a coincidence that I stepped on the scale this morning – and I’m up another 2.5 pounds. Yikes. This accountability thing is getting awfully embarrassing.

The bottom line: