Food Voodoo

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Food Voodoo

Over the past few weeks, my relationships with food, exercise, and pretty much everything else have not been positive. I’ve used peanut butter to cope with anxiety. I’ve binged on muffins to getting back at a woman who was rude to me in a shop.

Incidentally, the anti-anxiety thing didn’t work. But I still cling to the hope that my little food-voodoo routine has wrought some sort of muffin-related disfigurement… chocolate chip shaped warts, perhaps.

At the same time, I’ve developed an absurd phobia about running without a stroller. The last time I tried running without one (before having kids) I hated it. I’m now plagued by these bizarre visions of floating away unanchored, something only slightly less unlikely than a complete meltdown in the middle of the bike path.

Granted, there are a few things weighing on me at the moment. Easing baby into daycare over the past week has been an emotional roller coaster. Thinking about my return to work is dragging me down on so many different levels. Oh, and did I mention I may have to put my cat down? Yeah, it’s been one helluva month.

But the good news is, I have found a solution:

LOTTERY TICKETS!

That’s right, I’m replacing compulsive eating with compulsive gambling! Completely non fattening, and my ticket out of the cube farm, all in one fell swoop! Genius, no?

The good news is, even I can see that the twitch I get walking past the lottery counter without a 649 Quick-Pick is A Bad Thing. But it’s remarkable how quickly I glommed onto gambling – thank god I haven’t the foggiest idea where to buy street drugs.

*sigh*

So I have a few issues I need to resolve. The real good news is that not only did I log all my food yesterday, I also stayed within my calorie budget. That’s a first in a while, on both counts. And while I did not, as I promised both myself and my FB peeps, get out for a run, I DID get a hydration belt so that I can go today. What’s more is I persisted through the humiliation of not finding a belt big enough in the first store that I tried.

Baby steps. They’ve gotten me this far, they’ll get me the rest of the way.

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10 responses

  1. Oh, Sasha – I HAD to comment.
    I’m reading (on a break) in my cubicle. I laughed so hard at:
    “…thank god I haven’t the foggiest idea where to buy street drugs,” that I was forced to explain the joke to my co-workers.
    I can SO totally relate – if it ain’t one thing, its another. Keep going, girl, good on you for yesterday, and a little money wasted on a license to fantasize isn’t a totally bad thing.

    But, if you do, by chance, find a source for another addictive substance, don’t tell me, OK?

  2. LOL! So maybe not tell you what the jackpot is this week either?

    Oh, who am I kidding, I don’t know what it is either. I’ve been trying to not get hung up on that. It’s hard though! I can see how people can get addicted!

    And actually, if you’re looking for an addictive substance, may I suggest exercise-induced endorphins. There are worse things than a workout addiction.

  3. I love the part about food voodo choc chip induced warts!! you crack me up 🙂 Don’t you worry your doing just fine and will be clipping along the streets in your new fuel belt sans stroller and rocking it!

  4. Sitting at the table in my PIL’s dining room LOL – literally.

    I actually tried not to.. and gasped. That made everyone stop and look at me! *blush* I need a new method.

    Next time I choose a full on guffaw! There WILL be a next time, btw. Love your blog! While I work on my METHod you just keep away from anything that begins with those first 4 letters!

    Keep running and keep writing!!

  5. Ok, so just to reinforce *how* clueless I am wrt banned substances, I had to read that twice before I got it. At which point I *did* let out a guffaw. Right there in the physio’s office.

    So thanks. I think 😉

  6. Sasha, you are awesome. Loved this post, this new blog, and your total and amusing honesty. Of course you’ll achieve whatever you really want to, right? Winning millions or losing a few pounds. I look forward to reading about both journeys as you take them. Awesome.

  7. Thanks so much, Allison! I’m glad you’re enjoying it. I have fun writing it, too, but the rewarding part is comments like yours :).

  8. LOVE LOVE LOVE baby steps – yep – I celebrate EVERYTHING! Thanks so much for the kind link love – you are too kind!
    I had a not so stellar week last week on the food front – stress, schedule & lazy – and I definitely paid the price.
    Sigh… to the grocery store for fruits and veggies AND pulled out the knife. Shocking! But soooo needed 😀

  9. Hi Kris! Thanks for stopping by! I’m thinking a veggie-binge would do me some good. Impulse buys at Farm Boy are the best guilt-free shopping around, and the fridge just ends up looking so purdy!