Over the past few weeks, my relationships with food, exercise, and pretty much everything else have not been positive. I’ve used peanut butter to cope with anxiety. I’ve binged on muffins to getting back at a woman who was rude to me in a shop.
Incidentally, the anti-anxiety thing didn’t work. But I still cling to the hope that my little food-voodoo routine has wrought some sort of muffin-related disfigurement… chocolate chip shaped warts, perhaps.
At the same time, I’ve developed an absurd phobia about running without a stroller. The last time I tried running without one (before having kids) I hated it. I’m now plagued by these bizarre visions of floating away unanchored, something only slightly less unlikely than a complete meltdown in the middle of the bike path.
Granted, there are a few things weighing on me at the moment. Easing baby into daycare over the past week has been an emotional roller coaster. Thinking about my return to work is dragging me down on so many different levels. Oh, and did I mention I may have to put my cat down? Yeah, it’s been one helluva month.
But the good news is, I have found a solution:
That’s right, I’m replacing compulsive eating with compulsive gambling! Completely non fattening, and my ticket out of the cube farm, all in one fell swoop! Genius, no?
The good news is, even I can see that the twitch I get walking past the lottery counter without a 649 Quick-Pick is A Bad Thing. But it’s remarkable how quickly I glommed onto gambling – thank god I haven’t the foggiest idea where to buy street drugs.
So I have a few issues I need to resolve. The real good news is that not only did I log all my food yesterday, I also stayed within my calorie budget. That’s a first in a while, on both counts. And while I did not, as I promised both myself and my FB peeps, get out for a run, I DID get a hydration belt so that I can go today. What’s more is I persisted through the humiliation of not finding a belt big enough in the first store that I tried.
Baby steps. They’ve gotten me this far, they’ll get me the rest of the way.